Are you building up or tearing down?
I didn't really like it when Mom would ask me this, because it for sure meant I had just said something mean. (I will now proceed to confess the *one* time I did something wrong...)
I remember once finding Jim in a steamy bathroom, cleaning the bathtub. I immediately began to berate him for "using all the hot water" and "not knowing how to clean the bathroom" and other such acts of incompetence. Mom came in to find out what was going on and then pulled me aside. She let me know, kindly but firmly, that hot water actually cleans better than cold and was a logical choice, and that I was tearing my brother down when I had a chance to build him up instead. "He is helping me. Don't criticize him for doing his best when you're not making any effort to help at all."
I slunk off to my room and sulked for a good while, I'm sure. But the lesson stuck and I've used it on my own kids several times. Many have spoken of Mom's gift for building up with loving words and I'm grateful for that gift too. Sixty years of quiet building, word by word, and look at all she has created!
This post was dead on, and I totally understand what you're saying. I agree that Jim is the worst bathroom cleaner ever. And so wasteful...
ReplyDeleteI don't think that's what she was getting at....
ReplyDeleteYou're right Maddie. Clearly this was a thinly veiled attempt to explain to her daughters the "right" way to clean the bathroom. Good thing you girls read this blog! Lesson learned.
ReplyDeleteFor posterity's sake, I feel I should mention again that spraying the sconce lightbulbs with a windex is the WRONG way to clean the mirror. I should also add that spinning a washcloth across the counter like a mini windmill or nunchuck is NOT an effective way to clean countertops. And thirdly, if you ever accidentally knock diamond earrings into the toilet full of stool, it's best to AVOID the first temptation to flush. Instead, ask your mom to fetch them out. Just saying...